The goal of successful marketing is to create long lasting relationships with your prospects by marketing your business with passion.  When you’re not excited about what you’re doing, no one else will be either.  Our passion for what we do in business is communicated through our attitude.  Our attitude comes shining through in a variety of ways.  How can you create an attitude that paves the way to success for you and your business?

1.  You are what you speak.  The words we use say everything about who we are and what we are about.  Our spoken words are probably one of the most obvious ways we communicate our attitude to others.  Think about what you say before you speak.  Will it serve to build connection, community or relationship with others?  If not, consider saying something else or even saying nothing.  There’s a lot of wisdom in the words …”if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

2.  Dress for success.  How you dress and the colors you wear communicate a lot about who you are.  Find clothing that accents your best features.  Make sure your clothes are properly tailored, neat, and wrinkle-free.  If necessary, work with a personal shopper who can help you select apparel that is stylish and fits for the image that you wish to communicate.  Consider how different colors look on you and how they make you feel.  Wear clothes that you enjoy so you’ll come across in a more powerful way with potential customers or clients.  While “clothes don’t make the man or woman”, they certainly speak volumes about what we think about ourselves and what we wish to project.

3.  Be punctual.  Thomas C. Haliburton said, “Punctuality is the soul of business.”  Arriving on time for customer meetings, speaking engagements, meetings with vendors, or anything else you do in your business, shows that you respect others.  Respect is the foundation for creating great long-term relationships with your clients.  Showing up and on time is one of the best ways to show someone that you care about them.  By keeping your commitments to others, you are acknowledging them and their needs.  Caring about your customers must be your number one priority since it is through your relationships that you build your business.  No one knows how much you care until you show them… by showing up.

4.  Respond to contact several times each day.  Nowadays, email is the most frequently used method of communication.  Make it a goal to answer emails or your main forms of contact within eighthours.  If you cannot answer emails during that timeframe, at least send back a reply that you have received the person’s email and that you will respond by a certain date and time.  Never leave people wondering about whether you’ve received their email or not.  If you don’t answer promptly, you are perceived as not being on top of things, that you aren’t detail oriented or, worse, that you don’t care about your customers.  Don’t hesitate when it comes to communications.  Set aside a couple times per day when you will concentrate solely on reading and replying to your email. Remember: This only goes for the important people in your business; partners, clients, potential clients etc. The rest can wait in line if you do not have time.

5.  Return calls within hours.  Time is of the essence when it comes to doing business.  The difference between getting a new client can hinge on returning a phone call in a timely manner.  You never know when you might be missing a time critical opportunity.  A prompt response communicates an attitude that you value serving others and that you respect their time and their deadlines.  In today’s competitive environment, if people don’t get the prompt attention they desire, it’s easy for them to seek out your competitor.  Avoid missing opportunities to grow your business; plan two to three times each day to return calls.

6.  Take responsibility.   We communicate our attitude through the responsibilities we take upon ourselves.  People can sense when we take full responsibility for our actions and the resulting outcomes.  We communicate an aura of strength, confidence and leadership, which makes us even more attractive to the people with whom we do business.  Think about how you can step up and take even more responsibility for your business and the results you achieve.   

     
7.  Take action. Successful business owners are people in action.  They don’t wait for life to happen, they make life happen.  Taking action communicates an attitude of excitement and accomplishment, which others find extremely attractive.  Action tells others that you are a leader, that you move things forward, that you can make things happen, and most important, that you are confident doing what needs to be done.  Just as people watch things that move, they watch people that move. 

8.  Body language.  Along with the words that we speak, our bodies are probably the next most obvious way that we communicate our attitude to others.  It’s as if we are walking billboards.  Everything from your facial gestures to the way you sit and position your arms and legs, communicates volumes about who you are and your attitude towards others.  Observe people who exhibit positive, open, and welcoming body language and try to emulate them.  Read about body language and create a new way of being that represents what you most want to convey.  One book I recommend is I Know What You’re Thinking by Dr. Lillian Glass.

9.  Change your thinking; change your attitude.  We all know that thoughts influence how we feel.  They also influence the words we speak as well as our body language.  Our thoughts become the filters through which we perceive the world.  By changing our thoughts, we’ll automatically change our attitude.  We wear our thoughts everywhere we go.  Make sure you’re showing your best self at all times.

10.  Smile.  A smile is the universal sign of welcome and friendship.  Nothing warms the heart of another, melts the tension of a situation, or endears people to us, than delivering a smile with sincerity.  Practice smiling at everyone and everything.  Incorporate it as a healthy habit.  Not only does a smile affect others, it has an automatic effect on how you perceive everything around you.  People are attracted to people who make them feel good.  Start attracting people to you and your business by wearing a smile.

Tim Hoiseth

Tim has background as is business psychologist and work sociologist with expertise in building organisations and teams to solve problems for the future. Tim has expertise in technology and the symbiosis between human interaction and technology in operational processes.

Det er helt riktig! Å forstå tyngden i det å trenene på holdninger vil du kunne øke produktiviteten til bedrift din.

Ved århundreskiftet pleide det å være vanlig at ansatte fikk vite at de kunne komme seg opp og frem i organisasjonen hvis de koblet av hjernen deres ved inngangen. For å komme seg fremover ble ansatte oppfordret til bare å gjøre som arbeidsgiver dikterte og ikke tenke for mye mens de gjorde jobben sin.

Med kompleksitetene i dagens multi- teknologiske arbeidsmiljø, kan ansatte og gründere avansere mye ved å ta en kikk på og legge igjen dårlige holdninger i døra og ta på seg et positivt tankesett.

Vi har gått fra arbeiderrobotikk, til arbeiderneurotikk. Ansatte må nå transformere fra å stole på sin egen IQ til selvtillit på egen EQ (emosjonell intelligens). Den raskeste måten å tilegne seg emosjonell intelligens er så enkelt som å lære å kontrollere ens holdninger.

Hva er en holdning? Holdning er disposisjon, væremåte; det er en måte å gjøre ting på. Det er ånden som ligger til grunn for vår oppførsel. Det er den bærende og rett og slett følelsen vi har med handlingene våre og temperamentet som definerer hvem vi er og hva vi gjør. Mens en god holdning antyder en omsorgsfull, positiv og oppegående tilnærming, blir en dårlig holdning assosiert med uhøflig, frekk og negativ oppførsel. Dårlige holdninger i en organisasjon kan bli en solid kraft å kjempe mot, noe som kan føre kunder og gode ansatte bort fra organisasjonen. Det som ofte skjer når arbeidsgivere fortsetter med å nedbemanne, slå sammen og effektivisere kostnader – ofte fremskaffet av teknologi – blir de ansatte fanget i et emosjonelt press, og litt trening i riktig retning kan utgjøre en stor forskjell for videre drift.

Hvordan endrer vi holdningene til ansatte og frustrerte gründere? Et treningsprogram om holdninger er en perfekt løsning. Riktig opplæringsprogram kan bidra til å fremme et mer positivt arbeidsmiljø for alle ansatte, øke ansattes moral, forbedre ytelsen og produktiviteten til organisasjonen, eller plassere gründere i de situasjonene som er nødvendig for å lykkes.

Å overvinne det første hinderet – å navngi treningsprogrammet. Når du vil endre en persons holdninger ved å tilby trening, burde et kurs nevnes på en måte som skaper begeistring og inspirasjon til å delta. Obligatorisk holdningstrening forårsaker for eksempel automatisk harme og motstand. Noen personer vil si at de ikke har en dårlig holdning, hvorfor prøver de å fikse meg, eller hva gjorde jeg galt for å være med på dette programmet. Om en liker det eller ikke, er det menneskets natur å tenke det verste om denne typen trening. Det sentrer seg rundt noe ganske sentralt i oss som mennesker, så det er kanskje ikke så rart vi har «guarden» oppe når vi presenteres for denne type ting. Det er derfor lite hensiktsmessig å bruke titlene på denne type seminarer som: «Hvordan endre holdningene dine» eller « hvordan endre holdninger i dine ansatte», vi liker alle å tro at holdningene våre er mer eller mindre eksemplariske. Seminartitler som “Hvordan bli motivert hele tiden” eller “Hvordan bli bedre i alt det du gjør” fungerer bra.

Det er nyttig å sette et mål på viktige holdninger du vil endre med treningen. Det er også nyttig å ta stilling til at denne innsatsen ikke bare er opplæring av ansatte, men langsiktig utvikling fordi du ønsker å endre atferd på sikt. Du burde vurdere den nåværende situasjonen i organisasjonen eller virksomheten din som fører til at du ønsker å endre de ansatte eller dine egne holdninger. Still spørsmålene: Hvilken oppførsel oppstår som er symptomatisk for dårlige holdninger? Det kan være at du har observert eller opplevd atferd som korte frister, dårlig kundebehandling eller respektløs behandling av andre, noe som kan føre til at du konkluderer med at holdningstrening vil være til nytte for din organisasjon. En kort undersøkelse (ved hjelp av en noe som er målbart) av ansatte for eksempel før opplæring, da fungerer det godt med spørsmål som angår hvordan de ser på det nåværende miljøet og deres egen atferd. Den samme undersøkelsen kan administreres flere måneder etter at opplæringen har blitt administrert for å se hvilke gevinster som er oppnådd.

Hva er innholdet for effektiv holdningstrening?

Enkeltpersoner vil kunne glede seg over opplæring som er relevant for hele livet, ikke bare på arbeidsplassen. Opplæring skal være interaktiv og deltakende og bruke praktiske eksempler for læring, fokusere på individet og deretter organisasjonen. Treningsmål for deltakerne: Det er ikke sikkert du liker jobben din eller andre rundt deg. Det kan hende du ikke en gang kan endre posisjonen eller situasjonen din. Kanskje føler du på begrenset eller mindre utviklingsmuligheter der du nå befinner deg. Men den ene tingen du kan endre er din egen holdning.

Du kan ikke være i stand til å kontrollere følelsene dine, men du kan kontrollere holdningen din. Holdningsstyring er evnen til å kontrollere hvordan vi utfører følelsene våre.

Noen nyttige elementer i et effektivt holdningstreningsprogram inkluderer:
Egenvurdering og personlig inventar – for å inkludere personlig vurdering av hvor godt en ansatt føler at de samhandler med andre i og utenfor arbeidsmiljøet.

Utvikling av personlig effektivitet – for å inkludere muligheter for deltakere til å visualisere suksess og egne kapasiteter og evner, for å styrke indre ressurser og mental holdning.

Vurdere begrensninger og styrker – for å inkludere å ta et realistisk blikk på begrensninger og styrker og vurdere muligheter for å utnytte personlige styrker. Identifiser de begrensningene som faktisk ikke er forankret, men som påvirker individers evne til fullt ut å bidra, skape eller anvende ferdigheter.

Å forstå dynamikken i positive og negative holdninger – for å inkludere utvikling

Tim Høiseth

Business psykolog, sosiolog

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Internal conflict, conflict within yourself, reflects the difference between what you really feel and what you are able or choose to do about it. Interpersonal conflict occurs between you and another person when what they do or say is different to what you feel and vice-versa.

Everyone has four basic psychological needs. These are the need to be valued, to be in control, the need for self esteem or self worth, and lastly the need for consistency or stability.

1. The need to be valued or appreciated by others is a basic psychological requirement

You want others to recognize your worth and appreciate your contributions. You are more motivated when your contributions are recognized. When you feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, or taken for granted your need to be appreciated and valued has been violated and this can trigger a response of fear, anger or frequently both.

2. The need to be in control

Being in control is important for everyone, but more for some than others. The more insecure you feel about yourself, the more controlling you may become. On the other hand, if you feel secure and confident about yourself, then your need to control others will reduce.

Whenever you have to deal with an over controlling person remember their need to control comes from their insecurity. Make them feel secure and their need to control will normally reduce.

3. The need for self esteem and self worth

By this I mean you should appreciate yourself and look to your strengths rather than any weakness (we all have both). A strong self esteem gives you a powerful, solid base for dealing with all types of problems and situations.

With a strong self esteem, you have the ability to positively respond or react to any type of situation, rather than reacting negatively by panicking of avoiding the potential conflict.

4. The need to be consistent

You need to know what is likely to happen in any given situation. You need consistency from family, partners, friends, everyone in your life otherwise you are always anxious about the unexpected.

This is not to say that no-one can change their minds but someone who changes opinions or reacts differently to the same situation brings a level of insecurity in to your life and you never know how to react.

The reason some people feel the need to change comes from their insecurity. They are insecure in themselves so they try to fit in with others all the time and will agree with whoever they feel is the most dominant personality.

Whenever any of these needs are not met conflicts, internal, external or both, are produced and people usually react in one of four ways. 

They can retaliate, dominate, isolate, or cooperate.

Retaliation and domination can result in extreme violence. Isolation separates the parties but does not resolve the conflict whereas with cooperation one party allows their feelings to be ignored and accepts the opinion of another over their own.

If you are aware of these basic needs and reactions you will begin to understand how and why you and others react the way you do. Considering these needs, understanding them and acting upon them will make you a more complete and therefore a more confident person and will give you strength at times of conflict.

Tim Hoiseth

Tim has background as is business psychologist and work sociologist with expertise in building organisations and teams to solve problems for the future. Tim has expertise in technology and the symbiosis between human interaction and technology in operational processes.

I work mainly with building teams, in a team, conflict is unfortunately an unavoidable factor that can occur. Same as a machine consist of parts that together adds up to a function and purpose. These parts might need need fixing no and then. A team likewise consist of people that interfere with each other to perform the function it is set to  solve, the purpose of the team. If we see the people within the organisation as parts of a machine, it is many things that can go wrong.

I been working with some conflicts in my career. To solve problems after analysing, designing a strategy and implementing the strategy sometimes taking the parts out to fix them is a solution. When the parts are out individuals often identify themselves as victims and/or people often do not really see themselves as a problem are typical. Fixing people parts if we can see it like that has one simple element, and that is to create understanding in the part. It rarely helps to tell someone they are the problem, go fix yourself! What you need to do is to create a greater understanding in the parts involved.

I have one example from a client, a typical client with a typical problem. No different from anyone else. It often starts with meeting a decision maker of some kind, someone who has addressed a problem within the team structure, some of the parts do not function as they should. There is always a finished and somewhat clear opinion to who and/or what the problem is to some degree. And in this case, it is no different. A conflict between two employees, the decision-maker who saw himself as a victim in the way an employee was behaving towards him. And an employee, who clearly showed no interest in changing his behaviour. Let it be noted that in Norway, we luckily have strong employment protection. So unlike many other places, we simply can not trow and replace this team part without further due. We have to try to fix things first, and that where people like me come in.

After talking to the decision-maker around the process and his role in this, he decided to use the meeting as an opportunity to shift perspective and try a new approach. He began by imagining that the employee had good intentions but was a bit rough around the edges. He considered that maybe if he aligned with the employee, he might be better able to direct him. First, he arranged the office chairs so that instead of face to face, they were at oblique angles and generally facing the same direction. Then he took a few deep breaths and opened the door.

The employee began by stating with intensity all that was going wrong with the project. The manager’s initial reaction was to resist the attack, but he refocused his attention on listening and understanding and sat quietly for a while. Instead of coming back with answers or a rebuttal, he found himself asking the employee what he thought the real nature of the problem was and what actions he would suggest to solve it. The confrontational atmosphere diffused and gave way to a sense of collaboration. The two were aligned physically in their chairs and now conceptually in the way they approached the problem. The change the manager made in himself turned out to be very effective, and both manager and employee began to work on solving the issues facing the project.

From Tormentor to Teacher

It’s hard to like everyone. Some colleagues are great partners; we know their style and blend easily with them. We “dance well together.” With others we always seem to be out of step. We wonder, How can they be that way? or What makes them tick? Or worse – we don’t care; we just want to be as far away as possible.

The problem is we still have to work with these people, and our reactivity in their presence gives them a kind of power over us. However, by seeking to understand the opponent, we take the initiative. At worst, we learn something. At best, we may turn them into an ally and improve the quality of the work environment.

But how do you turn a tormentor into a teacher? Begin by asking yourself some questions about who they are and why they behave the way they do.

Who is this person away from the workplace? See the different parts of this person – the parent, grandparent, friend, dancer, skier, singer, or loved one (of someone!). Chances are you’re only seeing the annoying part of your tormentor. Widen your perspective.

What is their positive intention? Underneath the disrespectful behavior, what do they really want? Respect? Independence? Control? Acknowledgement? Attention? You may realize that you have similar goals, though you seek them differently.

Why do you think they behave as they do? It’s useful to adopt the attitude that their actions have little (if anything) to do with you. Most people operate out of habit. Even if they don’t get the respect or attention they desire, they can’t change because they don’t know any other way. Maybe it falls to you to help them find it. Suggest ways they might achieve their aims more effectively. Be their teacher.

True Power

As you read this article, think of someone with whom your “dance” feels like a struggle. Then, instead of wishing they would change, start with yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, at fault, or need to change your opinion. It means that in order to resolve the conflict it works better to begin with what you can control – you.

Remember that you’re doing this for you. You’re stuck and you want to get unstuck. Like your tormentor, you’ve been taking actions that aren’t working, so try something new. When your well-being depends upon the actions of others, you inadvertently give them power. But with awareness and practice, you can make new choices about how you respond to the difficult people and situations in your life – and take the power back.

Our project manager and his employee will have more opportunities to dance with conflict as their relationship changes and grows. Thanks to the manager’s willingness to try something new, they’ve discovered common ground from which to begin the process. We all have challenging people in our lives. Will they be tormentors or teachers? Our perspective greatly influences our response.

Tim Hoiseth

Tim has background as is business psychologist and work sociologist with expertise in building organisations and teams to solve problems for the future. Tim has expertise in technology and the symbiosis between human interaction and technology in operational processes.